Becoming P.T. Lyfantod - 8
A serial fantasy novel
What follows is Part 8 of Becoming P.T. Lyfantod
If you missed Part 1, start there:
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s a little cold, but not bad I guess.”
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” she said. “I guess I’ve been trying to figure out how. I don’t want you to be upset…”
I stopped walking. “What is it?”
Her eyes widened when she saw my face. I don’t know what I looked like, but I suppose it must have been grim, given her reaction. “Nothing bad!” She held up her hands. “It’s good, really. I know I haven’t always… I always wanted to do right by you, you know. I didn’t mean to leave you on your own—”
“But I wasn’t on my own. I had mam-gu. She took care of me.”
“No, no, you’re right.” She shook her head. “I meant I wanted you to have a normal family, you know. With a mam and dad, like everyone else.”
“Seems like the solution is pretty obvious. You shouldn’t have left. But you did. I don’t know what more there is to say about it.”
“I know I did! And I know it’s no excuse, but I was only nineteen when you were born. Only four years older than you are now. And your father up and vanished. I didn’t have any money or family of my own, and it all seemed so hopeless… And then your grandmother agreed to help me, and I suppose I thought if I left you with her, your father might come back and see you, see how lovely you were, and decide to stay. But he never did, and…”
“Why are you telling me all this?”
She swallowed, looking up at me, for I was taller than her now. “What I really wanted to tell you was that I’d ah…met someone.”
“Huh?”
“Someone, as in a…a man. His name is Geralt. He’s a little older and he’s got a flat over in Port Talbot on the road to Cardiff. It’s not quite big enough, but we’ve decided to move in together.”
“What does that have to do with me? You could’ve dated lots of guys in the past fifteen years, and I’d have no way of knowing about it.”
“That’s true, I guess. But this is more, y’know, serious. I’ve been seeing him for a couple months now. Geralt’s at the steelworks, and I’m working part-time at a local pub. And I’d been thinking it might be nice if we…” She paused, looking at me intently.
I frowned. “What? It’s not like you need my permission. You’re grown adults. You can do whatever you please.”
“What I mean is, I was thinking we could move in together. Like—like a family.”
“What—what, me?”
Mam nodded.
I was incredulous. I was flabbergasted. The question was so unexpected that I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. “Port Talbot?” I shook my head. “It’s so far. What about school? What about my friends?”
“We could find you a new school. You could make new friends.”
“That’s—” I didn’t have the words for all I was feeling. Shock. Horror. Disbelief. “What about mam-gu? You can’t expect me to leave her here.”
“No, of course not! She’d come too. The four of us, together. A mam and a dad—”
“A dad? He—What’s his name? Gerald? He’s not my dad. I don’t even know him!”
“But you could get to know him! He’s really nice, I promise. He used to play rugby. The two of you could play together.”
“I hate sports! But of course you couldn’t know that, because you haven’t been around. You don’t know anything about me, and you want me to…drop everything and move to Port Talbot to live with a stranger?”
My mother pleaded, “I want to get to know you. And this would be the perfect chance—”
“What about mam-gu? Her whole life is here. Everyone she knows. I suppose you want her to make new friends too?”
“Well, she’d have us. And she could come back to visit whenever she wanted. You too. On weekends and holidays, and so on.”
“And our house? Mam-gu grew up there, you know. She’s been in that house all her life. She won’t want to leave.”
“See that’s what I wanted to ask you.” My mother’s eyes brightened. “We had this idea, well, Geralt really. We’re both working hard, you know. But for this plan to work, we’d need more space. A bedroom for you and one for mam-gu. And Geralt can’t leave his job at the steelworks, because that’s all he knows. But we can’t quite afford the down payment on a loan. Then he thought, if we sold mam-gu’s old house—”
“Sold?”
My mother winced but pushed on. “And used that money to get the new house, for all of us… But of course I told him she would never agree. Like you said, it’s all she knows. But then I thought if it was you who asked her—if you told her this was the only way for you and I to have a proper relationship, then maybe…”
“No,” I shook my head. “The answer is no.”
“P.T.—”
“I said NO,” I shouted, aware of people looking in our direction. I didn’t care. I learned in that moment what it meant to see red. My mother reached toward me, and I recoiled.
“I couldn’t see it when I was younger. Every time you showed up, all smiles, then left again a week later. Every time you got my hopes up then let me down. I used to think it was about me. I thought you left because I wasn’t smart enough or good at sports. Because I didn’t try hard enough. Because I wasn’t special. But it was never about me. It was always about you.
“You were always after something, weren’t you? Money. Attention. Pity. Or maybe to feel better about yourself after abandoning me. And now you want us to sell our house? Our home? You want me to give up all my friends, my whole life—so you can play family with some bloke you think you’re in love with? But how long will it be before you get bored and lose interest like you always do? Two weeks? A month? A year? No. If you want to buy a bloody house together, save your money like everybody else. And if it’s a family you two are after, I guess you’ll have to have a baby, because you damned well aren’t doing it with me.”
My mother stared at me in utter shock, eyes wide, mouth agape. I’d said all I meant to, but I was still so angry. Angry with her, but also with myself for letting my guard down. I wanted to put as much distance between us as humanly possible. I pushed past her with no thought as to where I was going. She put out a hand to stop me.
“Don’t touch me—” I shoved her away and raced off without looking back to see if she’d follow. I rounded the corner onto High Street and sped along till I came upon a bookshop called Baughan’s. A split-second decision took me inside. She’d never find me here. I could hide out until she gave up then go home. A bell on the door jingled as I pushed through, and it swung shut with a hollow clunk. I made for the back of the store and turned down a random aisle out of sight of the street. The very instant I rounded the corner, the bell jingled again behind me. I shook. Hesitating only briefly, I peeked out from behind the bookshelf. I was quick enough to watch the door close again but not to see who’d come through it. There was no one in sight.
